G89: Alienor's, Moon's Edge, and Eye Towers

DM: Quendalon
PCs: Barnaby, Cut, Hamish, Henri, Jorge, Pritchard, Roland, Stradivarian
Hirelings: Boarstein, As'leeta, As'Meeta
Played on: 7 July 2011

Summary

Alienor's

  • Entered from the roof after climbing/piccolo/ropes
  • Boarstein forces trap door
  • Willem d'Alienor: Undead spellcaster, invulnerable to normal missiles, killed with holy water while webbed
  • Appears ransacked in upper floors; flame wall persists on stair between floor 2 and 3
  • Stairs into dungeon below from first floor

Moon's Edge

  • Glittering at the top
  • Blood-sucking vines in barrels on lower floor
  • Flock of aggressive (but normal) birds and large animated bird skeleton
  • Gems and coin in the "nest"
  • Stairs into dungeon below from first floor

Tower of the Eye

  • Blood-sucking, scarlet birds upstairs
  • A room that smells faintly of chaos magic
  • A small, perfectly rounded basin in the top of the central pillar
  • No loot
  • No stairs to dungeon

EPIC TALES OF BORSTEIN

FANATIC OF THE BOSS AND MANLIEST OF MEN

Hooked up with the Company of Crossed Swords this morning after my regular routine of bench-pressing Bill the Mule (3 sets of 20 reps) and waxing up my fu manchu. Breakfast consisted of eight eggs and a haggis.

Met the team outside of Malinbois. Unimpressed. Mostly sickly-lookin' elves, some shorties, and a wizard in fancy dress. Very Un-Bossly, in my opinion, but the High Vicar says that they're the real deal. Two more Bossly followers joined us — desert vixens from out east. I oiled up my biceps and prepped for action.

We joined up with some orcs at the Chateau. The lead orc was ripped, so I asked him about his workout routine. He eats a roasted goat every day and keeps his bis, tris, and delts pumped by hacking off the limbs of gnolls. I'll give it a try.

The first tower we entered was blocked off by a raging wall of fire, so we sent the skinny dude up the side of the building with a rope. The funny wizard had a magical flute that floated the rest of us up to the roof. I'm glad that I went before the guy with the hideous skin disease on his mouth.

There was a trap door on the roof, but it was locked shut. I flexed up a bit and ripped it apart by the hinges. The skinny guy jumped into the room below and roused up a talking dead body. He scrambled to get out, but took a fireball in the nads and fell to the floor with his junk in flames. The foppy mage caught the dead guy up in a web while the High Vicar passed out holy water. We doused the dead guy until he melted. The skinny guy got some Bossly healing on his junk, but there was no loot.

We retreated to the Tower of the Boss, where the skinny dude spent a few days applying healing salve to his scalded sack. I spent my time lifting the rock off of the well and punching zombies in the face. Dinner consisted of a roasted goat and ale mixed with egg whites.

A couple days later, we entered the tower next door. The mage used his magic flute to check out the roof, which was apparently occupied by a giant skeletal bird. Intrigued, we started climbing stairs, but were attacked by some sort of sucker vine. The guy with the mouth sores chopped it up with a polearm.

The door to the roof was sealed shut, and even my epic biceps couldn't pry it off of the hinges (need to eat more eggs). The shorties in armor spent an hour chopping it apart with tiny little axes. I'm going to put a note in the Company of Crossed Swords suggestion box: bigger dudes and bigger axes.

We attacked the skeletal bird on the roof. It was pretty rough, and it made all the normal birds attack us as well. One of the shorties climbed inside and started ripping it apart. I called a long shot and sent the head flying over the far curtain wall. Borstein 1. Dead bird thing 0.

For lunch, I ate four ham sandwiches and a large glass of goat's milk.

The last tower was an archers' watch or something — lots of arrow slits. We roused some blood-sucking red birds. The mage caught them up in a web, but one slipped behind him and latched onto his back. I grabbed it, squeezed the blood back into the mage, and ripped it in half. Oh hell yeah! The elves, shorties, and the skinny guy finished off the rest of 'em.

The top of the tower had an empty basin. No loot, just more mystery.

We called the adventure and returned to town. Not much profit, but a decent workout.

Losses and Loot

Each PC earned 237xp for monsters slain and treasure retrieved. Each PC's share of the treasure was 160gp.

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