G88: Ruins of Thelchineau Manor

Date: 29 june 2011
Players: Audrey, Hamish, Henri, Pritchard, Roland, Stradivarian
Henchmen: Eames, Boarstein
DM: Charlatan



In which our heroes meet their evil twins and douse them in oil, and Pritchard Hood enjoys some narcotics.

Dramatis Personae

Audrey Carcassonne, the Adept
Roland Wolfric, Lord Zanzibar
Hamish, High Vicar of the Boss
Pritchard Hood, Witch-Finder
Stradivarian, an Elven Lord
Henri, the Master of Parkour

and featuring the talents of

Eames, the Donkeyheaded
Borstein, Fanatic of the Boss

Suspecting that the Company of Crossed Swords was dead, Hamish returned from the Chateau d' Amberville to find that his closest and dearest friends had moved out of the country without telling him. Although initially suspicious that he was left at the Tower of the Boss to die at the hands of marauding skeletal milkmaids, Hamish overcame his angst and joined Pritchard Hood and his team of mercenaries in a wonderous adventure.

The Company was hired to look into the disappearance of a distinguished young noble from the House Thelchineau, one of the more degenerate families of Glantri. The family's genes were tainted by years of mixing their taxonomy with those of animals and plants, thus creating a menagerie of horrors… and this was just the sitting room of their family home! The head of the family suggested that our heroes look for their missing son in the ruins of the ancestoral keep at the edge of town.

And thus Pritchard and his band ventured forth into the Glantrian suburbs. The castle was in shambles with little remaining but a greenhouse and some crumbling towers. The party was attacked by a half-man, half-spider — a spider-man if you would — who they defeated soundly. There was some debate about exploring the greenhouse, but after throwing one of Hamish's sandwiches at a group of plants to see if they were carnivorous, the party moved into the dungeons beneath the towers instead.

Our heroes were harassed by a talking door, who set them on a quest to recover a golden torque in exchange for a horde of treasure. This put them in conflict with a gaggle of dopplegangers in a room full of mirrors. The foes assumed the visage of Pritchard Hood, which the rest of the party hacked apart gleefully…. much to the dismay of the real Pritchard Hood, who seemed rather disturbed by the encounter. Unfortunately, the door was a charlatan, but thanks to Audrey's shrewd foresight, the party kept the treasure of the torque for themselves. Hamish paused to reflect upon the notion that sometimes a door is a jar.

Further on, the Company encountered a room full of shriekers, which Henri bypassed with his incredible ability at parkour. A secret door was discovered, but not before Pritchard inhaled a nostril-ful of the mysterious pink dandercap mushroom. He was quite whimsical for the rest of the adventure.

A displacer beast ambushed the Company, but it was chopped to bits by Roland and Borstein. They then encountered a giant mushroom filled with fungus dryads. Stradivarian was ensorceled by the strange mushroom maidens, and only the rippling and well-oiled biceps of Hamish prevented the young elf from throwing himself into the fungus. Battle was joined in earnest. Pritchard and Henri burned the mushroom with fire while Audrey peppered it with arrows. Eames was struck down in melee, but eventually the dryads were dispatched and the mushroom was slathered in oil and burned. With the addition of some garlic, the Company could have had a delicious lunch.

Unfortunately, the young noble was not found, which was a requisite for the Company's legal claim to their spoils. It is inevitable that they will one day return to the Island of Doctor Thelchineau.

Losses and Loot


The spider-man was plainly dressed, but the party did find on his person a silver brooch inlaid with a jet butterfly. Its rim is engraved with the name "Thelchineau".

Despite the best efforts of a mimic, the party made off with both a gold torc, set with an emerald, and a set of platinum filigree cuffs from the doppelgangers, as well as a scroll inscribed with spells of levitate and magic missile (according to Pritchard).

Pritchard's determination to dig through the moldering library turned up a false book containing 5 small platinum rods.

The three sisters below the tree wore identical lockets of carved onyx, each with a delicately cut butterfly set in silver and an elaborate ‘T’ engraved into the reverse. They all contain the dusty remains of some kind of paper or parchment. Within their cache you discovered (and left) a small hoard of silver coins, but also found five items of interest:

  1. a ceramic phial whose contents radiate some kind of magic
  2. A silver snuffbox that appears to be engraved with a butterfly. Tiny gearwork animates the butterfly’s wings when the lid slides open.
  3. A thin platinum diadem in the shape of bare twigs, decorated with sculptural butterflies cut from obsidian. Several butterflies are obviously missing, but the workmanship is very fine.
  4. A silver chatelaine set with tiny pieces of jet, and black enameling depicting both the growth of a man from child to old age, and the metamorphosis of a butterfly.
  5. A simple platinum band encircled with tiny black pearls.


Eames the Were-donkey was killed by a mushroom tree thing.


For monsters defeated and treasure recovered, each PC received 838xp; Boarstein the Bossly fanatic received 419xp.


Roland makes the customary "Hails" and "Indeeds" and "Well Mets" as he strides with purpose through House Telchineau to keep the appointment he has made with the lord of the House. After exchanging the customary pleasantries between two men of equal station, Roland makes the Success Team's report:

"Sadly, Lord Telchineau, after great danger and effort, we could not find the scion of House Telchineau. We were also unable to discover any artifacts of your house in our search, which I mention only as a passing concern vis a vis our agreement, as the matter of your son is naturally of paramount importance, and was our primary focus. Rest assured m'lord, that the Company of Crossed Swords remains ever humbly in your service, and would be honored to count you as one of our most distinctive and virtuous clients going forward.

As he makes his way out of the front door and into the city proper, Roland nods to the shadows where Cut Coutelain and Henri la Sateur crouch watching. The two ruffians acknowledge the agreed-upon sign and swiftly repair to their most discreet underworld contacts to fence the items from House Telchineau.

Coutelain cut his teeth as a fighter on the docks of Low Waterside, and is confident that the merchants there will ask few questions as to the provenance of saleable goods. Henri concurs, and slips down to les Bas to consult with "Jungle" Gus Jaungle, a fat-faced combover handy with a loupe and connected with the less scrupulously wealthy. Jungle Gus's eye is first caught by the platinum rods, his long, yellow nails clacking against the cover of the false book. "Begging to be made into wands, aren't they? Maybe if you lot were selling them up on the hill. But the light's brighter up there, eh?" Gus laughs heartily to himself, and turns his attention to the torc. "That is nice, that emerald… except she's cracked. You can see it yourself…" Gus offers his sweat-fogged eyepiece to Henri, who respectfully declines.
Gus smiles as he continues, muttering brief assessments over the filigree cuffs ("smallish!"), the diadem ("broken…"), and the chatelaine ("old-fashioned, that one…"), while examining the ring and the snuffbox with no noise but his gasping breath.
Finally Gus looks back to Henri and sighs. "I'll give you a few thousand for the lot. But I want no part of those," he nods towards the brooch and 3 carved lockets. "None at all. I'd bet you already know all the buyers for 'em anyway."

Jungle Gus offers Henri 650g for the snuffbox, 600g for the torc, 400g for the bracers, 550g for the diadem, 450g for the chatelaine, and 500g even for the ring. He also offers you 300g for the platinum rods. The total offer is 3450g, or 575 for each of the 6 PCs.

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