G47: Tooth Of The Wild

This session was played on September 6, 2010, featuring Boarface Bristlebrush, Farkas Fulmont, Hamish the Dim, Pritchard Hood and Snickwick.


[Note: This summary was provided by Sternum, the player of Hamish the Dim. Some statements may not be entirely accurate.]

Summoned by Gerard de Marais for a cushy government contract, Hamish the Dim assembled a crack squad of the Company of Crossed Swords' most elite problem-solvers. This included:

Hamish the Dim, high priest of the Boss
Pritchard Hood, witch-hunter
Snickwick the Gnome, a gnome
Farkas the Voluminous
Boarface Bristlebrush, a dwarf
Bill, a mule

Their task was to reclaim a watch-tower ("the Tooth o' the Wild") in the name of the Trade Consortium of Bindle Mar. In return, the Company negotiated twenty gold florins per man plus exclusive trade discounts in Glantri for the span of a fortnight. Hamish also demanded an Official Writ of Divine Magicks as part of the deal, to which Gerard de Marais agreed.

Satisfied with their contract, the Company of Crossed Swords took the job and readied themselves for a dangerous wilderness excursion. To aid them on their journey, "Uncle" Emil, their Consortium representative, provided them with a jar of Leprechaun urine, which promised to make its imbiber small and dexterous. After recruiting two zealots from the Church of the Boss — Eaves and Marmot — the adventure began!

After a day-and-a-half of uneventful travel, the Company of Crossed Swords arrived at the ruined watch-tower. Hamish warned Boarface of the likelihood of undead horses in the stable. Moments later, Boarface was attacked by an undead horse in the stable. Our heroes dispatched it quickly, but they were soon ravaged by a pterodactyl as they assayed scaling the tower proper. The beast was slain, but not before giving several members of the party some painful bites ands scratches.

The party climbed into the tower, but poor Farkas was far too voluminous to navigate the ruined stonework. Thankfully, the Company had the aforementioned flask of Leprechaun urine. As a cunning joke, Hamish and Snickwick passed down a flask of gnome urine instead (provided by Mssr. Snickwick). Farkas was not amused. Upon drinking the true Leprechaun urine, Farkas shrank down to norker-size, which left him naked but sly and nimble. Hamish dubbed him "Lil Farkas" and hauled him up into the tower on a bit of rope.

There the Company found some fledgling pterodactyls, now orphaned by their murderous exploits. In hopes of securing some flash new mounts, Hamish and Boarface captured one, but not before it cut them most savagely. Bloodthirsty Snickwick, tiring of their shenanigans, dispatched the remaining fledglings with his crossbow.

The steps of the tower were ruined by rain, so the team lowered themselves into the bowels of the structure on hemp ropes. In mid descent, they were assaulted by pixies and sprites in the guise of spooky ghosts. Hamish, an experienced ghost wrangler, saw through their prank, but not before they dropped him and Snickwick into a pit filled with rats.

While Hamish and Snickwick fought off the starving vermin, Pritchard Hood negotiated with the fey sprites, who began to turn the remaining members of the party into mules, donkeys, and other assorted pack animals. It was revealed that the sprites were haunting the tower until they reclaimed the body of their dead king, who was somewhere in the lower works. Hood agreed to reclaim their king's remains if the sprites agreed to vacate the tower, but not before giving Boarface a mule tail and turning Eaves into a sexy donkey.

The party was soon reunited, and the rats terrorizing Hamish and Snickwick were dispatched, but not before the high priest of the Boss contracted a nasty bout of the plague. They Company explored the basement of the tower, lurking wherein they found a composer-turned-monkey. The beast was charmed by Pitchard Hood, and they started an impromptu jam session on coronet and piccolo.

Realizing that the sprite king's body must be in a beetle warren, Hamish, Snickwick, Boarface, and Lil Faras — now Lil'st Farkas — drank the remaining Leprechaun urine and lowered themselves into the hole. There they fought a series of angry beetles and recovered the missing king and a strange rune-covered skull.

The sprites and pixies rejoiced at the Company's victory and left the tower as promised, but not before removing everyone's donkey appendages (with the exception of Boarface, who kept his tail). This resulted in several crude jokes at the expense of Boarface's name as the party returned to civilization.

Losses & Loot
Our heroes defeated ???. They obtained ???.

For creatures defeated and wealth acquired, each party member received ???xp.

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